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Good News for People Who Like Bad News
01-18-24
Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mikeās sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed itās been a couple years since weāve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update Iāll ever share.
Twelve spheres, ten holes in the base unit and two holes on the three needles. Assuming that much is obvious, this narrows possibilities (excluding the needle positioning) down to 479,001,600 possible color combinations. Better get crackin’ there, illiterate monkey!
It’s a game. Maybe Alien Patty-Cake.
Bake us a cake as fast as you can.
Yea, I wouldn’t even know where to start from, too. š
Also, I just noticed this guy is the same person depicted in the title for Season Two. I hope this doesn’t mean this will be the finale already.
Turns out that this man is the first color blind astronaut in history.
Waka! Waka!
I see, the space edition of who wants to be a milionare uses a new type of joker.
Maybe the orbs socket into the platform to form a pentagram. The rods… could interlock to make the symbol for Saturn?
“Honey, he doesn’t seem to like your cooking”
“You speak in audible tones. We speak in colored balls. Here, have some colored balls and a place to put them…what we call a TranslatoHoopStitch.”
Interesting. Although if they expected him to spell something out with that contraption, they might have given him a full range of hues to play with. Limiting his vocabulary like this seems weird.
Perhaps they expect him to speak like a child and are not starting on the other colors until he masters the basics.
“Hey Joey! Why did you give the guy those anal beads? And your mom’s crochet hooks? Man, that’s messed up. Hey weird astronaut guy! Don’t touch those! Dude, you don’t even want to know.”
If only there wasn’t the cover image for Season 2, I could almost get optimistic about that whole situation.
And it’s just awesome to imagine that kind of situation where you *know* something must be staggeringly simple yet you don’t have the slightest clue about it. Kind of trying to read a children’s book in Mandarin when you only speak English, only way worse and on an even more fundamental level.
I suspect he just goes bananas trying to figure out what it means. The aliens, on the other hand, are testing his reaction to a meaningless apparatus. The author has given it a very specific look (pentagram) to see what theories we will come up with.
First Alien: He has failed the dexterity test. He can not eat with chopsticks. Second Alien: He has not solved Zordgufl”s Paradox. That’s a relief. That means we are still the most superior beings in existence. Cancel the orders to our genocide fleet. Third Alien: This test seems too difficult for the primate. Let’s give him a doorknob and see if he can figure out how to operate it.
I count 10 holes and 11 balls in all the panels, so i’m thinking it is a puzzle (looks like 5 pink, 5 orange and one red) which would show colour vision and pattern recognition, (5 of each and leave out the red)
but as for the sticks i have yet to figure it out, almost like they want you to insert the center rod between them and balance it, which can work, and also shows an understanding in the mechanics of objects,
I count 12 beads in the second panel. Extra beads might be part of the test. The astronaut needs to select and position the 10 beads to pass the test; along with the crochet tools.
Colours are actually different wavelengths of light. The aliens communicate with light wavelengths. Humans can only see a very narrow part of the light spectrum. The aliens might perceive (and emit) the full range of light wavelengths and lots of it can’t be seen by the astronaut or us. The poor astronaut might not be able to accurately perceive all the parts of the test. Ultraviolet and infrared markings (maybe instructions) could be all around him.
My shot in the dark: It is food and some of it is poisoned. The test might be to use the tools to detect the poison and stay alive.
I hate to tell you this, but he’s going to be totally screwed when he says something thoughtlessly racist with those colors.
why has nobody mentioned the circle is a pentacle?
Someone already probably got this, but based on the fact the aliens speak in color, im guessing they’re trying to see if he can understand their language or say something in their language
actually, reading the comment about the pentacle, its probably just to see if he can draw one