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Good News for People Who Like Bad News
01-18-24
Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mikeās sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed itās been a couple years since weāve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update Iāll ever share.
Yep, I KNEW it!
See… happy ending!
Nature fights back! The environmentalists would be so proud and happy!
So… when will this become a Disney Movie? I’d totally watch it.
Uh wait how could they open the doors? was it established they ALL were magical creatures that could open doors?
What about those who hear a noise of their door being destroyed? they would use weapons thats for sure.
The dogs came down the chimneys.
You’re right, the dogs would have swords, for sure.
They huffed and they puffed…
(well the clever dog could get in and out of his home, so I guess they knew how)
Also, windows
This can’t be good for property values
Well, there’s won’t be anyone left around to raise a stink about property values. No wait. That’s wrong. Rotting corpses do raise a stink.
Dont laugh, my mother in law first husband was eaten by wolves…she was great, she always sided with me when I quarreled with the wife…brother in laws had several close calls with wolves while on hunting trips in the old days. Wolves knew when men are out of ammo..the only defence then is fire circles and your dogs.
Northern wolves weight over 200 pounds, they’re the size of Great Danes.
Keep in mind that in the old days, tyrants kept the populace disarmed, so very vulnerable from wolves…Read up on the “Monster of Gevaudan”…who was, most likely, a member of the Royals disguised as a wolf.
In the middle age, only the Swiss, the Scottish Highlanders and the Italian people were armed, thus free…French, Spaniards, Germans and Englishmen were all disarmed and thus slaves to Aristocrats and food for the wolves.
Actually, Englishmen in the post-Norman Conquest era were required by law to own a bow and regularly practice archery. Which is a major reason why the wolf was largely extinct in England by the end of the Tudor dynasty.
A fact always funny when forgotten for convenience.
However, after the Tudors, they were not needed and were repressed…Archers were indeed formidable then…nothing like the modern ridiculous pulleys and stringbags of today…for example, Chief Hiawatha bragged of shooting ten arrows before the first one hit the target, holding the arrows between his fingers as all archers did then…they could split their own arrows in mid flight.
However, in the Siberian steppes and northern Canada, following the herds of millions of caribous-reindeers, the packs of huge wolves were enormous and nearly impossible to resist…and real canines’ speed is incredible…just watch a Pit Bull moves, it is faster than the eye!
I’m not sure which “old days” you’re talking about, but the English were very well armed right up to the beginning of the 20th century, especially with regard to guns. There were brief disarmaments, but these are the exceptions rather than the rule. These periods were hard to enforce and impossible to maintain because the English still had this strong sense of their right to bear arms which dated back to the 12th century. That’s the spirit that the Founding Fathers carried with them to the New World from England, and the reason it’s enshrined in US culture today.
ah yes ye olde furry
They even broke the fountain! The bastards!
No, not bastards…Sons (& daughters) of bitches. Remember the *definitions* of these terms & what makes the difference between them.
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windows. riddle solved
Why assume this is in England?
This is Transylvania.
And then they all lived happily as werewolves after.
We still haven’t seen what happened to the vagrant. He deserves a special punishment.
“every last soul”
He got a killer hangover.
My prediction? He takes the blame for everyone being eaten by dogs/wolves and suffers the same fate as the cleaver dog.(Bonus points if he got turned into a dog somehow…)