Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mikeās sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed itās been a couple years since weāve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update Iāll ever share.
Ahhh yes. I know the feeling. I work at a daycare centre.
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That bastard! Won’t someone PLEASE think of the hammers!?
When I have a hammer everyone looks like a nail.
(Not gonna say it. Not gonna say it)
You hit the nail on the head there…
(Oh Gawd, why did I say it?)
That monkey had to get in one last jab by throwing its blood all over the floor and that poor, poor hammer.
If I had a hammer,
I’d hammer in the morning.
I’d hammer in the evening,
all over yer head…
I think I see some hairs at the hammer’s point.