Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mike’s sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed it’s been a couple years since we’ve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update I’ll ever share.
I hate when that happens!
The manners on some people!
They just can’t let others do their part!
Lolz. Seems things won’t be that easy, Mr. Butcher.
And shoes may prevent you from slipping.
The distortion on the floor is making me dizzy…
It’s not distortion, it’s the slope of the concrete goiing down to the drain.
The tile makes it trippy.
We’ve all been there… just one of those days.
Uh… I’ve picked up cars with those things. 2 of ’em and an a frame trailer and you can pick up a whole car or pickup and take off with it. Never seen a chain link fail like that without thousands of pounds of force on it. And that was low test chain, not the high test like hoists use. Anything rated to hold a load above head level is way stronger than it’s rated load. No offense, but thats the least believable part so far.
Also, a bolt cutter might cut bone ok (I wouldn’t know), but it’d probably never make a clean cut on the skin and flesh of the fingers. A tree pruner would probably work better.
Good old sitcom comedy