Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mike’s sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed it’s been a couple years since we’ve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update I’ll ever share.
Guy just can’t get a break.
I do believe that someone or something doesn’t want him to complete his task. I wonder why?
Gah, I hate when those sliding doors do that. Gotta keep the rails oiled with a good 3in1. Only use Wd40 to loosen them when they’re rusty, it’s not a lubricant!
20 bucks says this guy bites it due to stinking bad luck combined with a freak accident.
Ah yes, “bad luck” and an “accident”. Let’s call it that.
And all because he didn’t delight in God’s Word.
Mormons can be very vengeful, and have good relations with voodoo shamans as far as I’m aware.