Dear False Positive Readers,
This is Ashley Walton, Mike’s sister and editor of False Positive. I have really terrible, awful news and a tiny bit of good news.
You might have noticed it’s been a couple years since we’ve posted anything on this website. Well, brace yourself for the saddest update I’ll ever share.
“Before I help you not bleed to death, did you pick up dinner?”
Now wait a moment. She’s chained up in a place she wouldn’t be able to run from anyway and there’s a graveyard on the front lawn.
I’m calling it: the appetite is hers, and it’s not pleasant.
But if she is chained, and she kills him, who digs the graves?
He does, I would assume; clearly he’s still alive, so if she does eat other things/people, he’s not on the menu. I’m predicting that she’s going to have to eat him if he dies, though, since she probably wouldn’t be shackled to the wall if she had a choice.
^What she said.
Or… he?
She’s probably a werewolf, and not bringing dinner home is tantamount to giving up on life. Unless he keeps a spare barrel of salt pork around.
Chained foot: the clear sign of a healthy and happy household.
I’d love to have a little cabin in the woods like that. I could even get used to the wolves for it.
You might want to check out a survival game called The Long Dark. No zombies, just you against nature. Try and see how long you can survive against the elements, starvation, ravenous wolves and lack of resources.
The chain actually reminds me of Stardust and witches, though the furs are lupine (rather than vulpine, like the intended prey).
And “Maesto”, which derives from magister/master … ? Nope, not creepy at all.
That’s an awful lot of frying pans. That implies Tidewater rather than Scotts-Irish (bioling), Puritan (baking, though there are a lot of baking pots or good but not huge size), or Delaware Valley (again, boiling, but less cleanly) cultures AND, perhaps more importantly, means it’ll be hard to cook him up in a thrice.
Or that he used to hunt with frying pans before turning to ranged weaponry.
The room is spotless. But it shouldn’t be. Not in that environment.
She got no Netflix. No kill to cook. Homemaker got all day, every day to make that tiny room shine.
Why not? Have you never seen an Amish house? Usually spotless even in winter months?
Coming to theaters near you:
Ilse, She-Wolf of the Amish… (she’ll make you scream for your God!)